Sitting Dux

After much anticipation, trash talk, and no preparation what so ever, the Sitting Dux made their dodgeball debut on Tuesday. I sent out the all call to my admin co-workers to form a dodgeball team and only one, Kelly, answered the call. She recruited her 9 year old daughter, Quinn. Three down, three to go. Dale Fox, the 57 year-old Driver's Ed coordinator was my next recruit. He ended up being our ace in the hole. He recruited our other two players - Scott and Josh, two P.E. teachers and members of the district softball team (I think).

This is the team...

Pretty intimidating huh??!! Check out the two younger guys, Scott and Josh, on the back row. I met them for the first time at the game on Tuesday. Wow, they were way too over-qualified to play on the Sitting Dux. Sorry guys!!

We go in the gym and we find out we're the 7th game. So, we have six games to watch and learn. Well, actually, what Kelly and I learned was that we were scared. This was serious business. These dudes could hurl a dodgeball. I had envisioned PE class dodgeball that I played at Robinson Elem. You know, everyone get in a circle and throw a rubber kick ball at the people in the middle. Well, like most things, dodgeball has come a long way since then. Now, you play with small, light weight balls and each team is on opposite sides of each other. One thing Kelly and I knew for sure, we didn't want to be the last person left on our team.

Our team was up and we hadn't even talked strategy. This was going to be bad. Each game has a 3 minute time limit. Here we go...

This is the dash to the balls at the beginning of the game. Notice how we sent the 9-year old to get one of the balls and I'm nowhere to be seen. That was my strategy. All I can say is I have no idea what happened from there. I couldn't even tell you what the other team looked like. Balls were flying every where. It was utter chaos. I had no dilutions of grandeur. I just tried to stay in the back and not get hit. There are two things that I do remember vividly. First, Dale hit some guy right in the crotch. Secondly, one of our big dudes had the shot of the tournament. I looked up and right in front of me, the young kid on the other team took a bullet dodgeball right to the face. He went down like a ton of bricks. Go team!!! Mike said that the guy on our team, Scott, that hit the kid threw it harder than anyone he'd seen so far.

Check out my cat-like agility. Doesn't our team look like we mean business!!!

An action shot. These guys would get a running start and then hurl that little ball. Scott is getting ready to unleash on someone. This could have been the face shot for all I know.

Anyway, back to the game. It sounds like all is going well, right. A crotch shot and a face shot. What more could a team ask for?? I'll tell you what, two actual players rather than two lamo girls that sit behind a desk all day. Well, that's what it came down to. Two lamo girls were all that remained of team Sitting Dux. Before I even knew what had happened, I sense that it's me and Kelly left and one other person from the other team. If Kelly and I had even half a brain between us, we'd have just moved back and tried to out last the other team until time ran out. Then we'd have won. But before I knew it, Kelly was hit. Then, my worst nightmare came true. It was just me and this other dude in a stand off. I looked up and there was 43 seconds left on the clock.

I'm in the middle of the gym with all eyes on me. God, this sucks!!! I don't hear my team giving me any words of encouragement. Not that it would have helped any. I had such a rag arm. I couldn't throw those little balls to save my live. I didn't want to just lob it over there because then he'd catch it and I'd be out. So, I tried to keep it hard and low. I had two balls and he had two balls. I gave him a fake throw, he flinched just a bit. Then I let loose on him. Not even close. It wasn't long until I was hit. Game over. Dodgeball over. Team done. It was one and done.

Check out our cool shirts though. Thanks to Dawn, John and Kathy for the shirts. If nothing else, we had the coolest team name and shirts. If those three guys would have had anyone else on their team, they'd have gone far. As it turned out, the team that beat us won the whole thing!!!

Well, we learned some valuable lessons this year and we'll be back and re-tooled for next year. Although, I think word will be out about my athletic inability and it'll be even harder to recruit for the team. I doubt that Scott and Josh will want to be associated with the Sitting Dux next year. I'm going to get me one of those little dodgeballs and start taking aim at the dogs so I'll be prepared for next year's tournament.

http://iss.schoolwires.com/southhigh/cwp/view.asp?A=3&Q=511262
You can go to this site to see a video montage of the event.